Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
