i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
