i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
