Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
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I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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