another moral hangover. fuck.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
