Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
