I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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