She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
