Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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