you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
