And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
