she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
