when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
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I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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