i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
