I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
