just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
