last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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