Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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