apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize