return my video game
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
