I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
kristin has been a bad kristin
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The beer is more important than you right now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
