Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
