I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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