i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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