nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
