my mouth tastes like poor choices
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
