He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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