I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
