woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
