I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
