I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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