Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
