Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
