I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize