i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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