And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
