sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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