Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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