Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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