Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
