I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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