So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
