Define "chronic" masturbator.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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