Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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