we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I AM VODKA MAN
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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