would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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