What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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