We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There's always time for handjobs
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
