awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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