The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
