The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
