She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
