Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
