you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
please don't ironically join a cult
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