This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
the raccoons are back...
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