It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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