I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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