I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
