and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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