What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
