I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
