You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
