I'm going to jail i love you
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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