she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize