the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
