Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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